Monday, May 28, 2007
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
my so called life
talan is sick with pneumonia.
hayden is sick with most likely an ear infection that is causing junk to pour out of his eye again, and vomit to come out of his mouth. he also is still congested and coughing like a smoker from the cold he got 2 weeks ago.
dave is sick with a cold that he has had for almost 2 weeks.
i'm not sick. but sometimes feel like i have somehow picked up allergies which i've never had before.
i will have been to the dr./hospital every day this week with the exception of today. but only because i'm refusing to take hayden in today.
we came home from the hospital yesterday to find 3 bees flying through the house. jess....aren't you glad you aren't here?
i bought my flowers a week and a half ago and i still haven't gotten around to planting most of them.
i cut the grass on mother's day which took me forever because it was so long. it was a good workout though. but it gave me some pretty big calluses.
the grass hasn't been cut since, and because dave is still sick, i'll probably be doing it again soon. but not today or tomorrow since it's going to be almost 90.
hayden just came down and said "i feel much better"
but talan is upstairs crying.
hayden is sick with most likely an ear infection that is causing junk to pour out of his eye again, and vomit to come out of his mouth. he also is still congested and coughing like a smoker from the cold he got 2 weeks ago.
dave is sick with a cold that he has had for almost 2 weeks.
i'm not sick. but sometimes feel like i have somehow picked up allergies which i've never had before.
i will have been to the dr./hospital every day this week with the exception of today. but only because i'm refusing to take hayden in today.
we came home from the hospital yesterday to find 3 bees flying through the house. jess....aren't you glad you aren't here?
i bought my flowers a week and a half ago and i still haven't gotten around to planting most of them.
i cut the grass on mother's day which took me forever because it was so long. it was a good workout though. but it gave me some pretty big calluses.
the grass hasn't been cut since, and because dave is still sick, i'll probably be doing it again soon. but not today or tomorrow since it's going to be almost 90.
hayden just came down and said "i feel much better"
but talan is upstairs crying.
Friday, May 11, 2007
no, i am not a robot
tomorrow morning at about 4am, my little sister will be headed to the airport. she'll be boarding a plane that will take her to miami. she will then board another plane that will take her to haiti where she will be living for the next 4-6 months. i just left her house after saying my goodbyes. i don't like crying. i don't like people knowing that i cry. i'm tough. i put off talking about this day or even thinking about this day until this day came. just so that i didn't cry every time i thought about it. so now you all know. the secret is out. i am crying. and will be crying while i write this entire blog. and then some.
i never got along with jessica. we just didn't. we are very different people and for whatever reason, growing up i did not appreciate those differences. we fought all the time. it was a good thing that we were never in high school at the same time as each other. my older sister looked out for me when i got to high school. let me hang with her and her friends. she was a good and positive influence on me. if jessica had been in high school with me, i highly doubt i would have been as gracious and kind with her as jenn had been with me. i surely wasn't a positive influence on her. even after i got married and was "grown" i wasn't close to her. i still couldn't look past all of our differences. to be honest, i have no idea why i even disliked her so much. why it was so hard to get along with her. because she is probably someone that EVERYONE would get along with and love.
somewhere i started to appreciate her. to see what a wonderful person she was. i saw what everyone else had seen all along. i was just too close to see it. too selfish to see. i can now say that jessica is one of my best friends.
we still are very different people. i love confrontation. she hates it. so much so that she almost pukes when she's around or involved in it. that makes me laugh at her. she's a giving person to everyone. i find myself to be a giving person, but mostly to those that i decide are worthy. she is selfless. i am selfish most of the time. she is loving and open and emotional. she lays it all out there. she is vulnerable.
she has been involved in the boys life from day 1. there almost every day of it. she's seen every first he has had. she has loved him almost as much as i love him.
so now that i have thing 2 it kills me to see her head off when he is only a month old. to know that when she returns he will be a totally different thing. that he will have had so many firsts without his aunt there.
when we are bored and have nothing to do, we call jessica. she comes over and just sits on the couch and watches tv and falls asleep and plays games and just does nothing but sit around with her loser sister. i'm not going to know what to do and who to call next weekend (i have plans this weekend, otherwise it'd be tomorrow).
see. i'm selfish. she is leaving for haiti to help people that desperately need it. she is going to a place with no real showers, no tv, no music, no good food, no real beds, no stores or any other conveniences that we have. she's doing it because that's who she is. that is why we all love her so much.
so i'll sit here and cry over her not being here for me and my kids while i take my hot showers and fatten up on my fattening food and go to the dr when i get sick with a cold. she'll be taking care of hundreds of people that have no dr. available to them.
jessica. you are not letting me down. you are not letting anyone down. you are doing what you have been called to do. you are doing what i could not and probably would not ever do. i know it's not easy for you. i know you have the same emotions i have right now. but we'll be here waiting for you. we'll be posting pictures and emailing and talking about you daily. you haven't let anyone down. you are what is still right in this world. we can't wait for your return. but while you're away, enjoy every minute of it. you have a heart for those people. love them. help them. be there for them the way you have been there for us. we'll be missing you, praying for you, waiting for you. we love you.
i love you.
i never got along with jessica. we just didn't. we are very different people and for whatever reason, growing up i did not appreciate those differences. we fought all the time. it was a good thing that we were never in high school at the same time as each other. my older sister looked out for me when i got to high school. let me hang with her and her friends. she was a good and positive influence on me. if jessica had been in high school with me, i highly doubt i would have been as gracious and kind with her as jenn had been with me. i surely wasn't a positive influence on her. even after i got married and was "grown" i wasn't close to her. i still couldn't look past all of our differences. to be honest, i have no idea why i even disliked her so much. why it was so hard to get along with her. because she is probably someone that EVERYONE would get along with and love.
somewhere i started to appreciate her. to see what a wonderful person she was. i saw what everyone else had seen all along. i was just too close to see it. too selfish to see. i can now say that jessica is one of my best friends.
we still are very different people. i love confrontation. she hates it. so much so that she almost pukes when she's around or involved in it. that makes me laugh at her. she's a giving person to everyone. i find myself to be a giving person, but mostly to those that i decide are worthy. she is selfless. i am selfish most of the time. she is loving and open and emotional. she lays it all out there. she is vulnerable.
she has been involved in the boys life from day 1. there almost every day of it. she's seen every first he has had. she has loved him almost as much as i love him.
so now that i have thing 2 it kills me to see her head off when he is only a month old. to know that when she returns he will be a totally different thing. that he will have had so many firsts without his aunt there.
when we are bored and have nothing to do, we call jessica. she comes over and just sits on the couch and watches tv and falls asleep and plays games and just does nothing but sit around with her loser sister. i'm not going to know what to do and who to call next weekend (i have plans this weekend, otherwise it'd be tomorrow).
see. i'm selfish. she is leaving for haiti to help people that desperately need it. she is going to a place with no real showers, no tv, no music, no good food, no real beds, no stores or any other conveniences that we have. she's doing it because that's who she is. that is why we all love her so much.
so i'll sit here and cry over her not being here for me and my kids while i take my hot showers and fatten up on my fattening food and go to the dr when i get sick with a cold. she'll be taking care of hundreds of people that have no dr. available to them.
jessica. you are not letting me down. you are not letting anyone down. you are doing what you have been called to do. you are doing what i could not and probably would not ever do. i know it's not easy for you. i know you have the same emotions i have right now. but we'll be here waiting for you. we'll be posting pictures and emailing and talking about you daily. you haven't let anyone down. you are what is still right in this world. we can't wait for your return. but while you're away, enjoy every minute of it. you have a heart for those people. love them. help them. be there for them the way you have been there for us. we'll be missing you, praying for you, waiting for you. we love you.
i love you.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
life as the mother of two
adjustment to life as 4 has been going rather smoothly over here. nothing too major. hayden, talan and myself manage to get out the door every morning by 8:05am to head to school. and i've always been back to pick hayden up by 11am. although one day i woke up from my nap at 10:44am. just a minute before i usually head out the door. good thing talan was still sleeping in his car seat. i just picked him up, snapped the seat in the car and we were off. he has been sleeping through the nite pretty well too. some nites are rougher than others. but for about 4 nites in a row now he's slept from about 11:30pm until anywhere from 5:30-7:30am. i still feel like i'm losing tons of sleep, but it's not that horrible.
last nite i fed talan his bottle and put him down a little after 11:30. i finished watching my show and then headed to bed around midnite. i suddenly woke from my sleep around 2:30am not from a screaming one month old but a 4 year old yelling "mom. mommy. mommy." i ran in and he told me to turn on the light. i did and he told me that he puked. he got a little panicked and kept saying "but i can't lay down. there is puke on my covers." dave picked him up and carried him to the bathroom in case he had gotten it on himself. but he was panicked and wouldn't listen to our explanation. he just wanted to get changed in his room, not the bathroom. we realized he had very thoughtfully only puked on his sheet. so we took him back to his room and i changed him while dave changed the sheets. 4 years and this was the first time we had to do anything like this. not too bad. we were easily able to put him back to bed and i believe he fell asleep relatively quickly after that.
5:30am i wake up to the one month old screaming to eat. i feed him, i change him, i rock him, i lay him back in bed. he cried for a little bit but has realized that at that 6am in our house, if you're fed, and changed we're not getting up for you. so he fell back to sleep.
7:30am i wake up to dave getting out of bed for work and hayden coming into my bed talking my ear off and telling me he's not sick anymore because the cough he had yesterday is all gone (it isn't). i send him off to watch a show while i lay in bed for another 1/2 or so before i get up to change and feed him and then the one month old starts screaming to be fed and changed as well.
so now it's just about 12:30pm and they have both been fed and changed but i haven't. talan should be waking up soon and screaming to eat once again and hayden will be headed for his nap in a half hour. maybe i'll get another 2 hour sleep break if i'm lucky.
we're still working on the photo situation. dave is planning on doing all he can to get the camera working so it downloads the photos onto our home computer. then i PROMISE i'll be posting much more regularly with lots of pictures. and again i say, i hate computers.
last nite i fed talan his bottle and put him down a little after 11:30. i finished watching my show and then headed to bed around midnite. i suddenly woke from my sleep around 2:30am not from a screaming one month old but a 4 year old yelling "mom. mommy. mommy." i ran in and he told me to turn on the light. i did and he told me that he puked. he got a little panicked and kept saying "but i can't lay down. there is puke on my covers." dave picked him up and carried him to the bathroom in case he had gotten it on himself. but he was panicked and wouldn't listen to our explanation. he just wanted to get changed in his room, not the bathroom. we realized he had very thoughtfully only puked on his sheet. so we took him back to his room and i changed him while dave changed the sheets. 4 years and this was the first time we had to do anything like this. not too bad. we were easily able to put him back to bed and i believe he fell asleep relatively quickly after that.
5:30am i wake up to the one month old screaming to eat. i feed him, i change him, i rock him, i lay him back in bed. he cried for a little bit but has realized that at that 6am in our house, if you're fed, and changed we're not getting up for you. so he fell back to sleep.
7:30am i wake up to dave getting out of bed for work and hayden coming into my bed talking my ear off and telling me he's not sick anymore because the cough he had yesterday is all gone (it isn't). i send him off to watch a show while i lay in bed for another 1/2 or so before i get up to change and feed him and then the one month old starts screaming to be fed and changed as well.
so now it's just about 12:30pm and they have both been fed and changed but i haven't. talan should be waking up soon and screaming to eat once again and hayden will be headed for his nap in a half hour. maybe i'll get another 2 hour sleep break if i'm lucky.
we're still working on the photo situation. dave is planning on doing all he can to get the camera working so it downloads the photos onto our home computer. then i PROMISE i'll be posting much more regularly with lots of pictures. and again i say, i hate computers.
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
the year of the illness and injury
our health insurance has a deductible that we must meet before they pay for anything. and it's a big deductible. $4000 to be exact. we actually only need to pay half of that (that would be $2000...just wanted to show off my super math skills) while the husband's company pays the other $2000. today in the mail i received the explanation of benefits from the insurance company for my labor and delivery. the total cost was almost $8000. of course, there were discounts because we were "in network" and all of that other crap. so that got the total down to $5000 something. my "room and board accommodations" totaled $2900. not worth it, let me tell you. at that price, you would think i stayed in a 5 star hotel. either that, or i stayed in a dump for a month. but no. i stayed in an uncomfortable hospital with sheets that aren't even real and food that i don't think was real either. if i wanted my tv turned on i had to pay $6 a day and i also had to pay to use the phone. no 5 star hotel. and i certainly wasn't there for a month. try a little over 24 hours. and the people coming in and out of my room at all hours of the nite were not coming in to fluff my pillow or leave me a mint, they were there to poke and prod at me and thing 2. and they charged me for that too.
anyway. because of that steep bill, we have now met our deductible. i mean, we haven't paid it yet, but i guess they have faith that we will actually pay it. so from now on, for the rest of this year, we are able to get as sick and as hurt as we want and it's totally covered. this may be the only year that this happens, so i plan on taking full advantage of it. i told the boy tonite at dinner that if he planned on getting really sick or breaking any bones, 2007 is the year to do it. he said "yeah! ok!" and gave a high five to the husband. the husband has been dealing with a messed up hand, foot and probably some other things for at least a year now...probably well over. so he plans on finally heading in for some x-rays and possibly some surgeries to correct these old football injuries. thing 2 has to go to the dr. every other month of course and has as whole mess of shots he needs to get. speaking of, the boy is able to get his kindergarten shots now if we want to....so i guess we will get them this year too. me? i'm not quite sure what i'm planning on, but i'll come up with something. i mean, it's only may. and i have said that 2007 is going to be the year of the gun for me. ahhhh, the possibilities are endless.
anyway. because of that steep bill, we have now met our deductible. i mean, we haven't paid it yet, but i guess they have faith that we will actually pay it. so from now on, for the rest of this year, we are able to get as sick and as hurt as we want and it's totally covered. this may be the only year that this happens, so i plan on taking full advantage of it. i told the boy tonite at dinner that if he planned on getting really sick or breaking any bones, 2007 is the year to do it. he said "yeah! ok!" and gave a high five to the husband. the husband has been dealing with a messed up hand, foot and probably some other things for at least a year now...probably well over. so he plans on finally heading in for some x-rays and possibly some surgeries to correct these old football injuries. thing 2 has to go to the dr. every other month of course and has as whole mess of shots he needs to get. speaking of, the boy is able to get his kindergarten shots now if we want to....so i guess we will get them this year too. me? i'm not quite sure what i'm planning on, but i'll come up with something. i mean, it's only may. and i have said that 2007 is going to be the year of the gun for me. ahhhh, the possibilities are endless.
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