i'm unpacking

this has gotten quite ridiculous. after having some pretty consistent contractions friday nite and even some on saturday morning, there was been nothing. some typical contractions that don't hurt and aren't consistent. i've only got about a day left before i go into the dr. and he tells me to pick a date to be induced. not good.
i only want this thing to come out so badly because i DO NOT want to be induced. further explanation tells me that they'll have me come in one evening to give me some pill to soften my cervix and then the next day they start the pitosin. that's just not feasible for someone like me. i have panic attacks. i can't sleep in any bed other than my own. there is no way i'm going to be able to stay in a hospital for 2 or 3 nites. not gonna happen.
it's also quite frustrating after having zero indications that hayden was about to show himself to the world until 2 hours before he did and this one i was sure i'd be having it yesterday....and now, NOTHING.
i'm hoping this kid is just being difficult in the womb and when it pops out it will be the opposite of hayden. i can dream, huh?